After the superb 4-1 win over Croatia, I settled down to watch the match v Kazakhstan yesterday, full of optimism and hoping for a repeat performance of that almost stylish, free flowing football and seeing our lads working as a proper team. What I was hoping to see actually bore no resemblance to the piss poor game that actually appeared on my tv screen. In the first half, England looked slightly less cohesive than the twin towers stuck back together with a Pritt stick.
What was Fabio Cappello thinking when selecting his side of utter donkeys? Matthew Upson for gods sake? I am absolutely positive that Julian Clary would have turned in a more solid performance. Upson must have thought he was playing for the rugby team (or maybe the Harlem Globe trotters) as he appeared to attempt to head or kick the ball over the goal and out of the stadium through the roof at every possible opportunity. The fecking idiot. And while Im at it maybe someone would like to have a word in Emile Heskeys shell-like and inform him its a better idea to kick the ball past the defenders rather than into them. Its not as if hes the bionic man and the sheer force of his kick would send the opposing player + ball right into the back of the net now is it?
Does anyone else think Fabio Cappello looks like Tommy Cooper? Look lads, I want you to play just like that......... Ok, either him or Postman Pat then, I cant decide. Or Velma from Scooby Doo. Or one of the muppets. No sorry that would be the England team. Heres a tip for you mate, next time play Rio and Theo and 9 buckets of shit on wheels. The buckets of shit will be better value in terms of money and performance I can assure you.
The second half was a different story and England did manage to score 5 goals, however, lets remember we werent playing Brazil, but 11 part time goatherding Borats. The teams obviously liked eachother though as they scored a goal for us and then Ashley Cole kindly returned the favour by floating a wonderful cross right past David James and letting one of the Borats tap it in. Beautiful. What next, swapping summer houses? I was quite impressed with Kazakhstans goalkeeper though, particularly in the way that he sported his Pat Sharpe Appreciation Mullet, very nice indeed.
ITV's coverage of the whole event was absolutely cringe inducing, mainly because of the incessant ad breaks and skin crawling commentary from David Pleat and Clive Tyldsley. To be honest David Platt and Ivy Tilsey from Coronation Street would have provided a more comprehensive and coherent interpretation of the match. At one point Emile Heskey missed the goal, SHOCKER, and divvy Dave said, dont worry he missed that! Err, hello? You do know that he was supposed to score right? Dopey shitclowns.
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Thursday, 2 October 2008
Silent Witness - Safe - Parts 1 & 2 BBC1
The silent witness series has been fairly hit and miss over the years, but after having watched the two part story Safe, I was compelled to write about it. This was perhaps one of the most moving and also depressing dramas I have seen for some time. It centred around the black youth gang culture of South East London and documented the violent and senseless way in which teenagers and even children risk their lives for drugs, cash and kudos.
The entire production was faultless and the acting exceptional, particularly from the young boys who played Levi and Keenan. Having lived and worked in East London I was more than familiar with many of the themes covered and have indeed witnessed street fights and stabbing of black teenagers outside my place of work. It is a hideous and terrifying sight that I would not wish another human being to have to suffer or view. Ever.
I am sure that the BBC carefully researched all the facts, however some elements of todays gang culture that were highlighted in the show, I had no idea about and found extremely disturbing. Apparently one of the initiation rituals to join these ’crews’ was the gang rape of underage girls who wished to be accepted by the group. Can this really be true? Why would the girls go through that in order to join and how could the rapists think it was acceptable as an initiation test? The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.
To those who work with them, it is well known how cheaply some teenagers value life, and that ‘shanking’ is common in many areas of London now, particularly the South East and East End. In fact I have spoken to many young black kids before, who pretty much confirmed the accuracy of what was shown in silent witness tonight.
The police are viewed with deep distrust and suspicion and to be quite honest I cant blame the black community for feeling this way towards them. I have only ever witnessed the police using their powers of stop and search on black male youths, never a white person and I have been here for over 3 years now. There have been several documentaries in recent times that have also exposed a deep rooted racism that still festers within the police force.
These episodes of silent witness encaptured the utter futility over the deaths of our youngsters and the sheer devastation it can wreak on families. Also the fear of some of the children who get caught up in gang warfare unwillingly and are unable to seek help or find a way out for themselves.
I do hope that Mr or Mrs Outraged from the Home Counties doesn’t decide to write in and complain about this outstanding two part drama though. Despite its violence and the bleak outlook it portrayed, it was a superb execution of a brilliantly written piece of social commentary that I am not ashamed to admit moved me to tears in places.
The entire production was faultless and the acting exceptional, particularly from the young boys who played Levi and Keenan. Having lived and worked in East London I was more than familiar with many of the themes covered and have indeed witnessed street fights and stabbing of black teenagers outside my place of work. It is a hideous and terrifying sight that I would not wish another human being to have to suffer or view. Ever.
I am sure that the BBC carefully researched all the facts, however some elements of todays gang culture that were highlighted in the show, I had no idea about and found extremely disturbing. Apparently one of the initiation rituals to join these ’crews’ was the gang rape of underage girls who wished to be accepted by the group. Can this really be true? Why would the girls go through that in order to join and how could the rapists think it was acceptable as an initiation test? The whole thing made me sick to my stomach.
To those who work with them, it is well known how cheaply some teenagers value life, and that ‘shanking’ is common in many areas of London now, particularly the South East and East End. In fact I have spoken to many young black kids before, who pretty much confirmed the accuracy of what was shown in silent witness tonight.
The police are viewed with deep distrust and suspicion and to be quite honest I cant blame the black community for feeling this way towards them. I have only ever witnessed the police using their powers of stop and search on black male youths, never a white person and I have been here for over 3 years now. There have been several documentaries in recent times that have also exposed a deep rooted racism that still festers within the police force.
These episodes of silent witness encaptured the utter futility over the deaths of our youngsters and the sheer devastation it can wreak on families. Also the fear of some of the children who get caught up in gang warfare unwillingly and are unable to seek help or find a way out for themselves.
I do hope that Mr or Mrs Outraged from the Home Counties doesn’t decide to write in and complain about this outstanding two part drama though. Despite its violence and the bleak outlook it portrayed, it was a superb execution of a brilliantly written piece of social commentary that I am not ashamed to admit moved me to tears in places.
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