After the brief romantic respite of Heather and Minty’s wedding, Eastenders, or Carry On Moaning as it should be called, has resolutely plummeted back into its usual quagmire of misery and despair. Having been married just long enough for Heather to purchase some XXL tarts underwear, Minty, the result of a brief but torrid affair between the Churchill dog and a potato, has already managed to cheat on his faithful yet clueless wife. He was happy to get spliced to Heather on the basis that they could ‘av a laff and watch The Goonies on a Sunday', whereas all he needed to do was stand in front of a mirror with fuckwit co-worker Garry to achieve this ultimate bliss.
Garry, recently graduated from Bastard Academy, has been driven by the sole intent of splitting up Mr Potato Head from his new wife. His latest wheeze, inviting two air hostesses round to Minty’s flat for some warm Lambrini at two in the afternoon worked a treat, and resulted in poor Heather coming home to find her husband covered in more badly smudged lipstick than Robert Smith from the Cure. Heather, pronounced Ev, by butch squint eyed devil-tongued Shirl (who is the sister of Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmatians), immediately sought refuge at her best friends flat, and thankfully stopped Cruella and Vinnie from making the beast with two backs. And thank Christ for that.
And while Im on the subject of Vinnie, he must win the award for Most Boring and Useless Character since the departure of the Ferreira family. Who? Exactly my point. Vinnie’s job is to hang around the car lot, reading the Sun and offering pointless advice to resident Spiv, Darren. Apart from that, he contributes little except some stomach-churning tonsil hockey with Shirl, and wandering in and out of the Minute Mart, without ever seeming to purchase anything. Bobby Davro was a shit comedian doing shit impressions in the 1980s and was mostly famous for looking like Freddie Starr but without the mad psychotic eyes or hamster eating activities. Now he’s shit in Eastenders. And dull, so at least he increased his repertoire by 50%.
Todays blog has been inspired by my good friend Sarah, and guru on all things current.
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2 comments:
I haven't really got any comment to make on EastEnders as I haven't watched it for months but I found your reviews very entertaining, especially the Jeremy Kyle and Britain's Got No Talent one.
If you have a look at the links on my "Blogroll" you will find a group of TV reviewers called "Watch With Mothers", which you might find interesting.
Best wishes,
A brand new blogger!
Hey Sharon, thank you so much for your lovely comment and feedback. I did check out that blog, it was very good! Take care, Annie x
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